Jess Benge, MA, MS, MFT
Jess Benge, MA, MS, MFT
PRONOUNS: sHE/Her/Hers
relationship and sex therapist
SPECIALTIES:
Infidelity or Break in Trust
Mismatched Desire
BDSM, Kink, or Paraphilia Disorders
Couple’s Communication
Out of Control Sexual Behavior
Sexual Dysfunctions
Modern Dating
Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)/Complex PTSD
RATE:
$150 / session
I am a realistic romanticist - fascinated by the complexity of love.
I don't believe your "problem" is just communication. Or porn. Or sex. Or your partner's emotions.
I believe your problem is disconnection — from your body, your truth, your capacity to feel. And that happens when you've spent your entire life performing safety instead of actually experiencing it.
Maybe you're here because infidelity turned your world upside down. Or because you and your partner are brilliant people who somehow can't figure out why you've stopped touching each other. Perhaps you're the one who cheated, drowning in depression so heavy you've mistaken those fleeting dopamine hits for actual joy. You might be a woman working to reclaim your body after sexual trauma, or a young man whose ED feels like failure when really your brain just needs some compassion.
Here's what I've learned about the people who find me: You're probably outwardly competent but inwardly exhausted. You've tried other therapy but something's still missing. You're ready for the kind of deep work that actually creates lasting change.
You're looking for someone who can hold your mess and cut through the noise, but gently. Someone who sees through your performance without shaming you for it. Who understands why you shut down, leave arguments unfinished, or constantly question whether to stay or go.
Trained in Internal Family Systems and certified in Brainspotting, I work with couples facing infidelity, emotional disconnection, and repetitive conflicts. I also work with individuals healing from sexual trauma or struggling with sexual habits that interfere with daily life. My approach resonates most with fellow "intellectualizers" who understand their issues but feel overwhelmed when trying to fix them.
My sessions are both restoration and reckoning. I pay attention to what you say and how your body responds when you say it. Like the way your shoulders tighten or how your breathing shifts when you're close to something real. I want you to feel supported as we create actual change together.
Your brain isn't wired to tell the truth; it's wired for survival. Together, we'll help you find new ways to feel safe without abandoning yourself. We'll work with all the parts you've been trying to hide, like the scared part of you, the needy one, and the part of you that keeps sabotaging good things because it's trying to protect you.
I believe authenticity is healing, and yes, I cuss sometimes. I'll say things off the cuff to help you laugh at what's been weighing you down. But mostly, I'll help you reconnect with yourself in a way that feels both honest and kind.
If you're tired of carrying your pain with a smile, if you're ready to stop thinking in circles and start feeling again, let's talk. You don't need to bring your polished self here. Bring the version that's scared, confused, or frustrated. I can hold it all, and we'll figure out the rest together.