therapy for modern dating

Ditch toxic dating culture.

dating therapy chicago

Let’s be real. Modern dating can feel exhausting.

You’ve got rules to follow and ghosts to avoid. And let’s not forget about the scariest question of them all: “What are we?” Even with the advent of modern dating technology, dating hasn’t become any easier. Sure, we have more access, but that doesn’t mean we’re having quality dating experiences. 

If you’re ready to learn how to navigate the dating scene, you’re in the right place. We use a unique values-based framework to help you cultivate the dating experience that you’ve been craving. With this framework, we guide you in crafting your personalized dating ethics and values and then help you apply them to your dating life. We believe you have the potential to lead your dating life with integrity, and we can help you get there.

Here's how we can help with modern dating:

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Image of pink abstract line drawing

Dating burnout

Setting boundaries

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Image of pink abstract line drawing

Healthy dating app use

Attachment styles

Dating self worth

New relationships

Offline dating

Dating post divorce or breakup

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Sex and dating

Avoidant dating patterns

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Image of pink abstract line drawing

Situationship recovery

Dating anxiety

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Image of pink abstract line drawing

The Benefits of Dating Therapy:

Before

I keep finding myself stuck in dead-end dating situations that go nowhere. I've been swiping for years with no luck and feel like dating is completely pointless. I'm starting to lose hope that there's someone out there for me.

After

I finally feel clear about a dating strategy that works for me. I no longer stress about whether "the one" is out there because I know I'm doing everything in my control to cultivate healthy dating relationships without wasting any more of my time.

Before

I feel like I'm spinning out of control every time I meet a new person on a dating app. I get attached really fast and find myself feeling stressed if I start to feel them pulling away. I'm worried that I'll always feel anxious and insecure about dating.

After

I no longer live in fear when it comes to dating new partners because I've got my dating anxiety under control. I set better boundaries with my dating apps, and the people I date, and feel incredibly confident in my partner selection.

Before

The new relationship energy has faded, and we're starting to fight more in our relationship. We feel disconnected, struggle with basic communication, and are worried our relationship is in trouble. We want to be in this relationship, but we need ideas on how to manage our conflict and communication.

After

We feel like partners who respect and value each other. We have open communication, practice good relationship self-care, and feel more attuned to each other's needs. We feel excited and hopeful about the future of our relationship.

How it works:

Once you connect with our practice, we'll match you with a therapist who is the best fit for your needs. After your free 30 minute consultation, you and your therapist will determine if counseling for dating is the right fit for you, and schedule a first session if it is. From there, you'll work with your therapist on setting goals for your dating life, develop skills to help you manage your love life, and work on any immediate struggles you're experiencing being single or newly partnered.

To learn more about toxic dating culture and our values-based dating framework, you can listen to our founder, Michelle Herzog, on the following podcasts:

Mark Groves Podcast
Believe Be Real Be Bold Podcast with Dave Glaser
#InspirationStation with Michaela Guzy

Meet our dating therapists in Chicago, IL

  • chicago dating therapy

    Michelle Herzog, LMFT, CST

    • Credentials: Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist

    • Years in Practice: 12

    • Specialty Areas: Mismatched Desire, Pre-Orgasmic Women, Modern Dating, Premarital Counseling, Painful Sex, Infidelity, Sexual Dysfunction, Transition to Parenthood, Dating Anxiety

    Meet Michelle
  • dating coach chicago

    Allison Colaianni, LMFT

    • Credentials: Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

    • Years in Practice: 3

    • Specialty Areas: Mismatched Desire, Couples Communication, Premarital Counseling, Sexual Shame, Sexual Dysfunction, Painful Sex, Modern Dating, Consensual Non-Monogamy, BDSM & Kink

    Meet Allison

  • Jess Benge, MA, MS, MFT

    • Credentials: Marriage and Family Therapist

    • Years in Practice: 2

    • Specialty Areas: Infidelity or Break in Trust, Mismatched Desire, BDSM, Kink, or Paraphilia Disorders, Couple’s Communication, Out of Control Sexual Behavior, Insecure Attachment Styles, Modern Dating, Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)/Complex PTSD

    meet jess

FAQs About Dating Therapy in Chicago

  • Therapy can be an excellent resource if you're overwhelmed with modern dating. As the dating world becomes increasingly complicated, it's important to have a supportive space with a relationship expert who can help you manage your feelings, discuss non-negotiables in dating, and create a plan for how you want to lead your dating life. At CMR, we believe you deserve to have a fun and fulfilling dating life, and we're happy to support you in building one.

  • Absolutely! It's likely you haven't been taught how to "do relationships" or "do dating." Our Chicago dating therapists are experts in helping you navigate sticky dating situations, new relationships, and issues that come up between you and your dating partner. Therapy can be incredibly helpful no matter what stage of a relationship you're in, and yes, even if you're single and seeking a long-term relationship.

  • The difference between dating therapy and dating coaching is that therapy is for a clinically diagnosable issue that requires a deeper level of treatment while dating coaching is more targeted, action-oriented, and short-term. At CMR, we provide therapy for dating issues that are deeply rooted in past issues like trauma and old relationship patterns you can't seem to break. Dating coaching and dating therapy are both valid forms of receiving help.

    If you're interested in more short-term, highly targeted work, our founder, Michelle Herzog, provides dating coaching. You can learn more about dating coaching here. Dating coaching is a great place to learn actionable tools and build skills for how to date effectively without wasting your time.

Our dating therapists are here to help you navigate modern dating and relationships.

Modern dating can be tough, and a lot of the therapists on our staff at CMR can totally relate to how overwhelming dating can be. If you desire a healthier relationship with dating, want to explore your attachment style, or simply want to build better dating habits, dating counseling can help. If you'd like to work with one of our therapists to help improve your dating life or have any questions about the process, you can connect with us here.

Better sex starts with communication.

Download our free Sexual Communication Handbook to access over 200 questions to get you and your partner sharing, connecting, and exploring.